Here are just a few choice gems from The Prepper Journal's 11 Ways A Condom Can Save Your Life: starting fires (they're great at protecting tinder from moisture), hunting for food (sexiest slingshot ever!), and transporting up to two liters of water (yes, rule 34 applies; no, we won't provide the link). They also make serviceable stand-ins for rubber gloves and can be used to protect the muzzle of your other essential survival tool (killing it right now).
honey keeps forever! You sound interesting and educated to boot. My wife is a school teacher. Id be very interested in meeting and seeing if we are on the same political wavelength. Im in south Arlington. Maybe we could meet in between and grab a bite to eat and talk. Would you be interested. Id be alone (not with wife and kids at first) but your husband/family are welcome to come too.